Looking Back

I remember when our youngest child was diagnosed with ADHD, we had very little real understanding of what we were in for. Over time we became more familiar. More familiar with defending our decision to medicate; more familiar with explaining that it was a real condition; more familiar with dealing with school and teachers and struggling with homework, and focus: and more familiar with the fact that others simply had no idea what we were dealing with, yet were very willing to give us their opinion on a number of things including what we “should be doing” as parents and how we should treat our child. These people were in general ignorant and uninformed about the condition. It's demoralising having to constantly deal with this, but we did it for the sake of our child.

He is the youngest of the children and like me, neurodivergent, (something that I only really understood, much more recently). He was, at the same time, amazing, wonderful, creative and incredibly frustrating. We realised early on that he was different to our other children. He didn't respond to things the same way as others, he was immature, very active, and non consequential. I'm thankful for those who believed me when In explained what was happening, especially a teacher who recognised ADHD when he saw it.

This was all back in the 1990's. It seems just like yesterday. But here's the thing. We made it. He's 32 now, he's a wonderful human being, who has approached life differently to others but is now thriving. He has learnt ways to manage and he's achieved an Advanced Diploma in Music, taught music, run a business with his wife, and has created a lifestyle that works for him.

We know so much more about ADHD now, about executive functioning, its heredity, the way it tends to manifest differently in boys and girls, and, thanks to the internet, information is much more easily available, including social media sites and pages one can follow where people living with ADHD share their lives and lived experiences, strategies that help, and what to avoid. (And of course there is also misinformation, so always check sources).

Looking back on the journey, I've learnt so much about ADHD, what it is and isn't, and I've watched my boy grow into a wonderful man. I wouldn't have it any other way. The hard times taught us resilience, the fun times built memories and we laugh about burping competitions in the car, the funny things that happened and the great times we shared.